The world slows down, but my heart beats faster now...

Yes, yes, it has been a million billion years since I last posted. I haven't had access to a personal computer in the time I've been gone, you see. And I don't particularly want people reading over my shoulder as I write. It may sound silly because I'm posting all this publicly, but my writing is always a messy process. Sometimes I spent hours writing page after page about something, copying, pasting, editing, perfecting - then delete it all. Don't ask me why. It's just the way things work.

Now to bring you up to speed. On the 25th of June, or Thursday last week, I went into town with my friend Ellen. We were quite early, so we sat down and had a couple of drinks, went and played a game of pool (if you could call it that) and then went for a walk. We were going to buy some smokes, but half way to the servo decided not to bother 'cause if two young-ish girls can't score a free smoke in town, there must be something wrong. So we got to The Grumpy Mole (still sober), and to my utter and complete delight, the bouncer Bonnie remembered me (by name!!!) and didn't even check my ID. So as you can imagine, I was completely and totally stoked. I skipped to catch up with Ellen and not even four steps in the door, I landed oddly on my right foot and felt an almighty crack. I hopped over to the stools by the pool table and sat down, Ellen took off my shoe and to both my horror and hers, I couldn't even move my foot, let alone my toes. I had to hop all the way across The Strand to get into Ellen's car and head to A&E. Long story short, I have a fractured ankle, a crappy cast and a passionate hate for crutches. And of course now I won't be known by my name, but by my clumsiness. But not to worry. If it was possible to earn money from looking like an idiot on a daily basis, I'd be very, very rich. So I'm used to it.

Moving on... I know that very few - if any - people read these. But I just wanted to share a little something with the black hole that is the internet, without jinxing anything. I'm pretty excited, because I haven't felt like this in a long time. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever had a feeling quite like this.

There's a boy.

Well, a man. But he makes my stomach do backflips in a way that's foreign to me. I feel almost sick with nerves every time he asks me to come and hang out with him, although that could be contributed to by the fact that he has stairs up to his front door (I'm on crutches, remember?). I went and hung out with him and his flatmate over the weekend. Of course, the first thing I did when I got in the door was fall into the fridge while his two dogs jumped all over me and he tried to keep me on my... foot. See, if you follow my antics for a while, you'll realise that kind of thing happens to me all the time - I'm a clumsy dork, naturally. But back to the subject... I'm going to Crazy Jack's to have a few drinks with him on Thursday night. Which could be considered foolish, drinking in public when I have balance issues when I'm sober. But I basically promised him I wouldn't back out, so I have to go. The only reason I want to is because of my irrational paranoia that people will stare at me because I've got a cast on my leg. A paranoia that I'll have to just ignore, because there's no way I can stand him up, especially after he told me today that he's really looking forward to seeing me. But to state for the record:

I expect nothing. I will take everything as it comes and allow the future to fall into place of it's own accord - with no pressure or outside influence. I will trust and be honest with this person. But I will under no circumstances get my hopes up for anything beyond friendship.

Call me crazy, but to avoid jinx, I usually write or say things like that when I'm telling someone about something I'm excited about - just in case the universe is listening. Prime example of why - not even a week before fracturing my ankle, I said to one of my flatmates that I'd never broken or fractured a bone in my body, and I didn't touch wood like I always do. If that's not proof, I don't know what is.