Ohmygosh. Thursday night is one of the best nights I have ever had in town. He shouted me heaps of drinks, feeding me shots all night. And I ran into so many people I know. Probably about 20 people signed my cast, and the bouncers at crazy's gave me entry with no ID because they wanted to save me the trouble of getting it out of my pocket. I had an excellent night. When we got back to his place we had a few smokes, and if you would believe it, I slipped over in the bathroom when I was stone-cold sober. It was so embarrassing. But he really didn't laugh at me, and was really concerned. I know I sound like a airhead teenager right now, but I have to tell somebody, I'm so excited. We went to bed and he massaged and rubbed my back, and we had the most amazing sex I've ever had. It felt good but the amazing part was the intensity. Being able to look into somebody else's eyes and not break the connection in such an intimate moment. Usually I'd keep my eyes closed the whole time. But this was different. He is the first person I have been with that I have never looked at in a random moment and thought "What the fuck am I even doing with this person?". He makes me strangely comfortable in the most awkward situations. And he's a cuddler. So there's no sinking, lonely, used feeling that comes from one-night-stands.
He is unusual. The reason that we are only dating and not in a relationship is because he thinks there is a curse on him. He can't explain why, but once he's with somebody for a long period of time, he, without warning, just stops being in love with them. He told me about it, and said that he doesn't want to break my heart, but he really likes me. So we're officially "dating" now. But I would really like it to progress into a relationship. And after the last few days and nights, I think I may have fallen for him a lot harder than I first thought. He is like my perfect match. He knows what to do to please me and he kisses in the same way that I do. Almost like he was made compatible to me. But sticking with the statement in my last blog... I expect nothing. If it doesn't work out, I will not allow myself to be hurt too much. I believe I have used up my quota of heartbreak, and I don't deserve any more. So if he wants to be with me, I'll be over the moon. But I will not allow it to drag me back down to where I was the last time I was heartbroken. I will understand if his feelings change, and handle it like a mature adult. Because I AM a mature adult. No matter what anybody says. So we'll sit back, relax and see where it takes me.
That said... Still grinning from ear to ear. <3
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment