She says wake up, it's no use breaking down...

They say when one door closes, another one opens. After the last few years, for a number of different reasons, I'm starting over. I'm adopting Pascalle West's motto - The Beautiful Positive. I opt for good and beautiful over nasty and huss. And what better way to start out the rest of my life than to clean up! My washing is on, the dishes are done, the vacuuming is done. Yes, boring, I know. If there is something I have learned from my experiences, it is that you can't go through life like a doormat. You can't let people you love take advantage of you. If they loved you, they wouldn't do that. You can't bend over backwards and move heaven and earth for somebody who doesn't appreciate it - your efforts will be either ignored or rejected. The issue with giving your all to anybody, be it a lover, a friend or even family, is that somewhere along the line, if not the whole way, you're going to find out how much you actually mean to them. More often than not, you'll be disappointed. Don't make the mistake of giving them chance after chance to prove themselves - they will believe that you'll stick around forever. Of course, everybody does make mistakes, whether they are lapses in judgment, outside influences and sometimes even fear. But there is a point were you have to say to yourself "Does this person actually care at all?". If it is excuse after excuse, I think you know that you haven't exactly got a winner there.

That brings me to where I am today. I am surrounding myself with people who care about me, people who bring the wonderful positive into my life, people who appreciate my trust, my love and my effort. I am organizing my time better, I am saving some money, I am having fun. And most of all, I am not living at somebody else's expense.

And on a slightly related not, today I saved a tiny mouse from the wrath of my dad's mouse trap. It had something wrong with it's leg, and I'm trying not to think about what kind of animal is going to be the first to eat it, but I had nothing suitable to keep it in until it got better. I feel quite bad, and if I could carry it around with me without (a) Getting sick, (b) Being looked at funny and (c) It jumping out of my hands and attempting to run away (even though it can only move in circles), I would. But, I can't. That's the way the world works I guess. The whole food chain, everything and everyone has to eat to survive thing.

I enjoy writing, and I will be trying to do it more often. But I highly doubt it will be anything interesting. It's simply for my own entertainment, and gives me an outlet to vent.

So kids, remember - Good and Beautiful over Nasty and Huss!